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Oba-Chan's House by Milarepa, Japan, May 1999
Poem and Hat for Osho by Milarepa, Pune, India, August, 1989


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Oba-chan's House

I had finished giving a concert in a small Japanese city called Shizuoka and some friends invited me to stay in their house for the night. They lived outside the city in a large, traditional-style Japanese farmhouse made of wood and paper walls. In one part of the house, their grandmother had been living with them. She had just died the day before.

 

The musicians I was traveling with were each given a choice which part of the house they would like to stay, when our host turned to me and offered Oba-chan's room (oba-chan is the Japanese word for grandmother). She said she said she thought I would have more space to rest there, as long as I felt comfortable with the situation. So I graciously accepted her offer.        Stepping through the door to Oba-chan’s room, I couldn’t help but notice the official certificate of death tacked over its entrance, placed there by the local Shinto priest. I assured my hosts I would be fine and we all said goodnight.

Pikul, Yoko, Milarepa and Neera at a natural hot springs in Japan.
Prada, Yoko, Milarepa and Neera at natural hot springs

Alone in the room, I could sense the presence of death hanging in the air. It was still tangible, like a vibrating stillness. I felt I was on sacred ground and bowed to the shrine in the corner (every Japanese house has such a shrine). I lit some incense sticks and placed them carefully next to the buddha statue within the shrine. A small mirror had been placed strategically at the shrine’s center, one of the influences of Zen Shintoism has absorbed. Its significance being: Whoever seeks God by looking in the shrine will see their own face in the mirror.
 

I lay awake a long time that night before finally drifting off into a deep, dreamless sleep. The next morning, I woke up feeling grateful to Oba-chan for the opportunity to have participated in the mystical experience of her death. Taking a pen and piece of paper, I wrote the following poem in her honor . . . just to thank her.


In the corner of my small house
An altar with a mirror shines
Empty and clear
Reflecting ripples on the lake

This house!
Where I lived a life
My shoes wait now
Patiently by the door
Where only moments before
I laughed in the sun
Alive in this Mischief

Kind people come here today
To sing and play their instruments
Such is their joy!
Their laughter
Carried by the morning breeze
Echoes through these empty rooms

Someone lights to burn
Fragrant sticks in the room
Where only yesterday, I lay
Sick and dying.
Nothing much has changed today, only
This is not my house anymore

The incense burns slowly . . .

And with each passing day
Soon the memory of me will fade away
Until the mirror at the altar shines
Again, empty and clear
Reflecting ripples on the lake


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Poem and a Hat for Osho

Pune, India, August, 1989
  printed in the Osho Times International at Osho's request

Beloved Osho,
  A hat for you, and a small poem I wrote after last night's video. In deepest gratitude . . .

 

This evening!
Silence descends on Buddha Hall
Like soft monsoon mist;
And from here I listen to
Your voice
The words
      The gaps . . .

A crow calls,
And the bamboos creak.
"Who is giving these commentaries," I ask?
The silence deepens
And ecstasy overwhelms me.
Again I ask, "Who is giving these commentaries?"

Then,
       Your voice
       The words
            The gaps . . .

A crow calls
The bamboos creak

And no answer
Becomes my answer

I love you, Beloved Master . . . Swami Anand Milarepa

 

An enlightened master's love radiates like the sun, its healing rays equally available to everyone irrespective of who they are. There is no hierarchy in the eyes of existence: How warm you experience the sun is directly proportional to how much you are prepared to open and expose yourself to life.

This particular poem taught me a valuable lesson. I wrote it in the monsoon season in India, during a particular time when Osho had been getting weaker and weaker, coming out to the discourses less and less. Because he could not be with us so often, he suggested we start meeting each evening in Buddha Hall at 7 pm and watch videos of previous discourses. He said this would create an opportunity for us to meditate and celebrate as a Commune; and that listening to his words would inspire us in his absence. This was the beginning of a meditation known as the White Robe Brotherhood.

During the rainy season in India, June through August, the days are long. On this particular evening, it was still light when the video discourse ended. I had been lying down, listening to his words, the rain, the small sounds all around me. I was in one of those magical spaces I’ve often experienced with Osho: my mind far away, yet something inside me still present and alert; like being asleep, but not. A poem had been composing itself, deep-down in my being, as if my unconscious mind was trying to give voice to something I was experiencing in meditation. But when the discourse ended, the sound of people leaving the Hall suddenly startled me, breaking my trance. The spell broke - and the poem vanished without a trace from the canvas of my mind.

I ran to my room and tried to write it down. Panicking, I grasped for words no longer there. In that moment, I experienced the angst of all creators: Sometimes a window opens for a brief instant, giving a glimpse into another dimension, another world. Then, just as mysteriously, it closes again. I had heard Osho speak about it many times. His guidance was always: Don't grasp and try to hold on. Just accept: This is the nature of things.

And so, remembering this I let go. There was nothing more to do than move on and be grateful for the glimpse existence had just provided me with. The poem, like a perfect dewdrop sparkling in the sun, had disappeared forever. And I knew it. Then something in me relaxed, and closing my eyes, I began retracing my steps in the meditation. Only the metaphorical wetness of grass in my mind indicated it had just been raining in my inner world. I could sense the fragrance of the unknown, still lingering in the absence of the vanished poem. With only this faint fragrance to guide me, I started writing, knowing full-well the poem I was composing would, at the most, be a faraway echo of the original.

I finished the poem, and because my experience had been such a strong one, I felt compelled to send it in to Osho - along with a beautiful hat to express my gratitude. The next day, I was told Osho wanted the poem and my accompanying letter published in the Osho Times. I took this as a confirmation of my insight. I had lost a poem, but received a blessing: The master’s love. His poetry.


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